Unathletic Child

William, ten years old, stakes his claim at chess, and on the keyboard he’s a master. But when it comes to sports William misses the ball. His mother tried to involve him in organized sports from around age 5 until age 7, but frustration won out.

At a time when sports rules the world of extra curricular activities, parents and kids can be frustrated by the pressure to play organized sports. “Your friends a lot of times are chosen by your ability,” said Williams mother.

In an attempt to help their child fit in, parents will often push popular sports, even if a kid is better at something else. Experts say this is a bad move because too many lessons in losing can destroy a child’s confidence. “Not everybody can be great at everything…and we all need to find our little niche in life, “ said Dr. Bonnie Tjeerdsma.

That niche can be a pogo stick, a bicycle, or anything that allows a child to excel while being active. Parents should give kids a wide variety of things to try to help them find what they are good at. When given this alternative, children will learn to expect success rather than failure.

“Not everybody can be great at everything…and we all need to find our little niche in life.”

–Dr. Bonnie Tjeerdsma, Health and Fitness Professor

More Than Winning

According to a 1992 UCLA/Amateur Athletic Foundation study, young people say that winning ranks last in their reasons for playing sports. The study found that young people enjoy sports for:

Coach support. Wanting to learn and work with others kids on a team. Positive parental interaction. Perceived sports ability. Feeling fit. Winning. (Source: Orange County Register)

It’s Not If You Win Or Lose

In his book Everybody’s A Winner, Tom Schneider advocates what he calls ‘New Games’. He gives ideas for activities and games that are not centered primarily on competition and winning, but are more focused on the fun and joy of playing. These ’New Games’ are designed keeping in mind that not everybody has great athletic skill, or is physically capable of being a sports great.

Schneider states that his ‘New Games’ are “purposely designed so that everyone can play” and though some involve contests “the real fun comes in playing”.

The book describes many games that are variations of traditional sports activities, and also discusses basic things that children should know about health and fitness.

What Parents Should Know

It is important to encourage your kids to leading a healthy and active lifestyle, but be cautious of possibly subjecting them to embarrassing situations. If the child feels unsuccessful or inferior to other children in a particular sport, it may discourage him from that and other similar activities all-together

Experts suggest using family time to play sports and develop active interests. By playing with family members, rather than peers, the child will be less likely to be self-conscious about his or her capabilities and more likely to enjoy the activity.

Parents should focus on the enjoyment of playing and improving skills rather than being competitive and keeping score. Success should derive more from improving skills than putting more points on the scoreboard.

Also, for the less athletic kid, it is helpful to focus on activities such as, walking, bicycling, swimming or even yoga. These activities are less competitive and require less coordination than many of the more popular sports.

Active kids are likely to be active adults. So, whether you get grandma and grandpa out in the yard for a game of kickball, or take the kids for a walk around the block, get out there and be active!

Resources Everybody’s A Winner by Tom Schneider